You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
