dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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