He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
