Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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