My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
