i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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