im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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