you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
