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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..

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• (818): View more from California

  I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

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• (530): View more from California

  the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night

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• (949): View more from California

  You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...

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• (631): View more from New York

  10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants

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