I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
