My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My balls are so social today.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
