You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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