Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
