At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize