I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
