I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
