next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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