Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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