hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
