Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize