i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
