no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I died a long time ago.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
