bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
