You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
