I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
