just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
