Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
