she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
