How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize