my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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