the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
