so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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