Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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