She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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