I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
