I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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