I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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