there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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