I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
