these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
