I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So much Jack, so little girl.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
