you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I intend to get homeless drunk
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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