I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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