I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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