Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
