Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
