I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just want nice things and good sex
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
