Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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