There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
