ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He shit in the fireplace
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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