shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
