Pappa wants mamma naked
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
