Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
