I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
