We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
A bitchslap is in order.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
