i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
