you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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