I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
