that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just made my gag reflex go away.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
