I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
