i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
