So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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