I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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